1
00:00:01,747 --> 00:00:03,361
Bro!
2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,949
This steakhouse for my bachelor
party tonight? Amazing!
3
00:00:07,148 --> 00:00:09,350
We got a bourbon
tasting, cigar lounge.
4
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,941
I'm telling y'all, this
is the kind of place where
5
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:15,599
there's a dude in the men's
room with mints and cologne.
6
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,492
Okay, well, I better
take some small bills,
7
00:00:17,692 --> 00:00:21,070
because I don't want to pay
five dollars for a Tic Tac.
8
00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:24,807
Have fun with your
meats and cigars.
9
00:00:25,006 --> 00:00:27,916
Us ladies will be right here
having cocktails and massages.
10
00:00:28,953 --> 00:00:32,610
Well, all right, girls,
get your ladies' night on.
11
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:35,357
And enjoy these nights
while you can, Necie.
12
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:37,543
Once you have babies, those
nights are far and few.
13
00:00:37,742 --> 00:00:40,204
Oh, yeah, that's true.
14
00:00:40,403 --> 00:00:42,685
Making you boys was fun as hell.
15
00:00:43,612 --> 00:00:48,067
But raising y'all, now, that's
been an exhausting ordeal.
16
00:00:50,957 --> 00:00:53,707
What are we supposed
to say to that?
17
00:00:53,907 --> 00:00:56,777
Just internalize it.
18
00:00:57,873 --> 00:01:00,454
Marty, you haven't told
your parents we decided
19
00:01:00,653 --> 00:01:01,650
not to have kids?
20
00:01:01,849 --> 00:01:03,763
Well, not in so many words.
21
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,025
Or any words.
22
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,147
Come on, Marty.
23
00:01:08,915 --> 00:01:10,728
Look, Necie is about to
spend the entire night
24
00:01:10,928 --> 00:01:12,363
with a woman who's
already picked out
25
00:01:12,492 --> 00:01:14,954
six years' worth of her
grandkids' Easter outfits.
26
00:01:15,153 --> 00:01:17,077
I know. You're right.
27
00:01:17,276 --> 00:01:18,581
I'll tell them.
28
00:01:18,781 --> 00:01:19,977
Hey, you know what?
29
00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:21,810
Maybe they'll be so
excited about tonight,
30
00:01:21,870 --> 00:01:23,096
it won't even affect them.
31
00:01:23,295 --> 00:01:24,561
Oh, you think so?
32
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,774
Hell nah. Barely
believed it as I said it.
33
00:01:27,813 --> 00:01:29,726
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
34
00:01:29,763 --> 00:01:31,069
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
35
00:01:36,035 --> 00:01:39,813
Well, I'm looking
good, I'm feeling good,
36
00:01:40,014 --> 00:01:41,652
and...
37
00:01:41,853 --> 00:01:44,146
and I'm smelling good.
38
00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:47,740
I am so excited for tonight.
39
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,603
Yeah, about that.
40
00:01:49,803 --> 00:01:53,217
Please keep in mind that tonight
is supposed to be Marty's night.
41
00:01:53,418 --> 00:01:54,749
Yeah, of course I know that.
42
00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:56,121
Do you?
43
00:01:56,321 --> 00:01:57,323
What are you getting at?
44
00:01:57,423 --> 00:01:58,664
I'm just saying, you don't
45
00:01:58,865 --> 00:02:01,248
have a great history
at bachelor parties.
46
00:02:04,612 --> 00:02:06,745
I don't know what
you're talking about.
47
00:02:06,945 --> 00:02:09,839
Dave, Kevin's bachelor
party in Canc n?
48
00:02:10,870 --> 00:02:12,442
Matthew's in New Orleans?
49
00:02:13,073 --> 00:02:14,495
Gary's bachelor
party that started
50
00:02:14,695 --> 00:02:16,517
in Las Vegas and ended in jail?
51
00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:22,765
It was a detention
cell at the Bellagio.
52
00:02:23,536 --> 00:02:26,860
I'm just saying, these events
bring out the worst in you.
53
00:02:27,061 --> 00:02:29,333
That's why your friends
gave you the nickname.
54
00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:31,937
Did they? I-I don't
even remember.
55
00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:33,559
The Douche.
56
00:02:35,662 --> 00:02:37,484
This is supposed
to be a nice night,
57
00:02:37,684 --> 00:02:39,907
not an episode of Entourage.
58
00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:45,965
I promise you, I left
that guy at the Bellagio.
59
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:48,728
There will be no a-douche.
60
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,161
What's a douche?
61
00:02:53,054 --> 00:02:55,277
It's nothing. Dave, stop.
It's a feminine hygiene...
62
00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:59,252
It's used to... Dave, tap
out. Tap out. Tap out.
63
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:03,227
Never mind. I'll just
go ask the Internet.
64
00:03:08,904 --> 00:03:09,925
Knock, knock.
65
00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:12,098
Hey.
Lookin' spiffy, Dad.
66
00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:14,751
Well, that settles
that.
67
00:03:16,554 --> 00:03:17,705
Uh...
68
00:03:17,905 --> 00:03:20,509
Uh, can I talk to
you both for a sec?
69
00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:23,322
Well, can't it wait until
we're out of the bathroom?
70
00:03:23,522 --> 00:03:26,596
No, because I might
chicken out.
71
00:03:26,797 --> 00:03:30,501
So, you know how Necie and
I are an unconventional,
72
00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:32,674
modern couple with
bold sensibilities
73
00:03:32,874 --> 00:03:35,077
that don't conform
to outdated norms?
74
00:03:35,277 --> 00:03:38,542
Is one of those outdated
norms getting to the point?
75
00:03:41,766 --> 00:03:46,271
So, Necie and I discussed
the idea of having kids,
76
00:03:46,472 --> 00:03:47,643
and...
77
00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:50,277
we realized that we
don't need children
78
00:03:50,477 --> 00:03:52,600
in our lives to feel complete.
79
00:03:53,771 --> 00:03:55,693
It's the decision
that we've made,
80
00:03:55,894 --> 00:03:57,696
and we hope that
you can respect it.
81
00:03:57,896 --> 00:04:00,089
You... So...
82
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:07,448
Okay.
83
00:04:07,659 --> 00:04:10,893
So, how's that landing
on everyone? Mama?
84
00:04:11,093 --> 00:04:13,636
Oh, I didn't know
you were finished.
85
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:16,520
Thanks for letting us know.
86
00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:18,863
That's it?
87
00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,416
Oh, I do have one
more thing to say.
88
00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:23,909
You boys have fun tonight.
89
00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:26,793
We will.
90
00:04:26,993 --> 00:04:29,507
Uh, you too, Mama.
91
00:04:29,707 --> 00:04:31,980
Thanks. Thanks for being
so cool about this.
92
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:33,492
All right, now. Okay.
93
00:04:35,204 --> 00:04:37,657
Babe, are you sure
you're good with this?
94
00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:40,130
Would you look at this
mirror. It is filthy.
95
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:42,263
Okay, Tina, that's not
what I'm talking abo...
96
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:44,786
You know, I'm gonna get my
rubber gloves and some bleach.
97
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,000
Oh, damn.
98
00:04:53,837 --> 00:04:55,235
Ooh, Calvin, listen.
Oh, good, listen.
99
00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:56,937
Let me tell you... Oh.
I need to, uh... No.
100
00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:58,233
Oh, sorry. No, you go. You go.
101
00:04:58,433 --> 00:04:59,651
No, you go. Okay.
Go, go, go. Go.
102
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:00,706
Okay, um...
103
00:05:00,906 --> 00:05:02,408
Can you keep an eye
on Dave tonight?
104
00:05:02,609 --> 00:05:04,721
He's not gonna try
to rap again, is he?
105
00:05:04,922 --> 00:05:06,353
He might.
106
00:05:06,554 --> 00:05:08,957
Bachelor parties are
a trigger for him.
107
00:05:09,157 --> 00:05:11,260
When he gets around
alcohol and male bonding,
108
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:12,882
he turns into...
109
00:05:13,853 --> 00:05:17,608
There's no nice way to
say this: The Douche.
110
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:22,424
Huh. Okay, well, we got
bigger problems because
111
00:05:22,624 --> 00:05:27,430
Marty just told us that he and
Necie don't plan to have kids.
112
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,674
Oh, my God. How did
you guys take it?
113
00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:33,949
Well, I was disappointed,
but I get it.
114
00:05:34,149 --> 00:05:35,290
But Tina?
115
00:05:35,491 --> 00:05:37,053
Did she scream?
116
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,795
Ha! I wish.
117
00:05:38,995 --> 00:05:43,170
Tina's got three stages of
crazy before she loses it.
118
00:05:43,371 --> 00:05:48,117
One, she gets really quiet.
Two, she obsessively cleans.
119
00:05:48,317 --> 00:05:51,301
And three, she laughs at
stuff that's not even funny.
120
00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:53,524
Hey, girl!
121
00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:55,586
You ready to get
your massage on?
122
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,992
Stage two?
123
00:06:00,963 --> 00:06:02,745
And hopefully we hold there.
124
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,118
At least I know my house
is going to be spotless.
125
00:06:05,319 --> 00:06:06,690
Yeah.
126
00:06:06,891 --> 00:06:11,296
We have
ants. So many ants.
127
00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:22,831
Whoa, whoa.
128
00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:24,793
Wh-What happened to
the limo I ordered?
129
00:06:25,004 --> 00:06:27,407
The limo didn't have
no stripper pole.
130
00:06:27,607 --> 00:06:29,780
That was the point, Trey.
131
00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:31,412
Oh, check it out.
132
00:06:31,612 --> 00:06:34,205
It's about to be insane!
133
00:06:35,207 --> 00:06:36,759
You're welcome.
134
00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:40,033
Trey, this bus better be taking
us to that classy steakhouse.
135
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,205
It is. Where we
are going to have
136
00:06:42,406 --> 00:06:43,137
a classy bourbon tasting.
137
00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:45,650
Yes. And no strippers.
138
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:48,083
Well, now I got to make a call.
139
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,526
Oh. Come on, man.
140
00:06:50,726 --> 00:06:54,211
I'll tell you, if these seats
are sticky, I'm taking an Uber.
141
00:06:55,953 --> 00:06:56,954
Dave, are you okay?
142
00:06:57,034 --> 00:06:58,847
Yeah, I'm fine. Fine.
143
00:06:59,047 --> 00:07:01,480
What are you doing,
man? It's just a bus.
144
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,002
A party bus.
145
00:07:05,745 --> 00:07:07,107
Oh, boy.
146
00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:12,845
Hey, Necie, what's
up? Miss Tina.
147
00:07:13,045 --> 00:07:14,647
This is my friend Bree.
148
00:07:14,847 --> 00:07:16,079
Hi. So nice to meet you.
149
00:07:16,279 --> 00:07:17,997
Oh, nice to meet you.
Make yourself at home.
150
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,293
So, Necie...
151
00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:21,596
Huh? Oh, Tina, this
is so interesting.
152
00:07:21,796 --> 00:07:23,798
What? Did you know Bree
has some big, big news?
153
00:07:23,999 --> 00:07:26,702
Mm. She's about to be on
Broadway and In the Heights.
154
00:07:26,902 --> 00:07:29,976
Oh, is that right? Uh-huh.
155
00:07:30,177 --> 00:07:31,999
Anyways, Necie, I have
a question for you.
156
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,522
Have you ever seen
a pair of boots
157
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:37,165
in the store and said, "I
don't want those boots,"
158
00:07:37,366 --> 00:07:40,039
but later you think, "I
wish I'd bought them"?
159
00:07:40,239 --> 00:07:42,272
So you go back to the
store, but it's too late,
160
00:07:42,472 --> 00:07:44,915
the boots are gone, and now
all your friends have boots,
161
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,499
but you're too old to
have boots? You know?
162
00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:50,923
I'm sorry, what is the question?
163
00:07:51,123 --> 00:07:52,435
Well, I was trying to ask...
164
00:07:52,635 --> 00:07:54,157
Okay, ready for the
first two massages.
165
00:07:54,237 --> 00:07:56,440
Oh, thank God. Bree,
Necie, you guys go first.
166
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,894
Oh, I don't have to
go... No, go, go, go, go.
167
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,791
You know what? This
bus isn't so bad.
168
00:08:04,991 --> 00:08:07,194
Man, you know what?
It is kind of fun.
169
00:08:07,394 --> 00:08:08,465
Yeah, man.
170
00:08:08,666 --> 00:08:09,667
Whoa! Okay, then.
171
00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:12,410
Uh, why is this pole warm?
172
00:08:12,611 --> 00:08:15,254
Wait a minute.
Was it just used?
173
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,456
No, man.
174
00:08:16,486 --> 00:08:19,039
The heater pole is a feature.
175
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,832
I'm gonna need hand sanitizer.
176
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:25,237
I got you.
177
00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:27,279
What?
178
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,913
This thing is full
of Jell-O shots!
179
00:08:30,113 --> 00:08:31,284
Oh, boy.
180
00:08:31,485 --> 00:08:33,707
Well, all right!
181
00:08:34,879 --> 00:08:36,401
What are you doing, Trey?
182
00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:40,386
Jell-O shots? Are we
pledging a sorority?
183
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,481
I guess one won't
hurt. Yeah, to Marty.
184
00:08:44,681 --> 00:08:45,983
To Marty.
185
00:08:46,183 --> 00:08:47,505
All right.
186
00:08:48,346 --> 00:08:51,580
I think someone put
alcohol liquor in these.
187
00:08:53,022 --> 00:08:55,906
You know, things went so
well with Mom and Dad,
188
00:08:56,106 --> 00:08:58,379
I'm actually in a
Jell-O shots mood.
189
00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:01,453
Hey, Dave? Dave, I thought
we agreed to one shot.
190
00:09:01,653 --> 00:09:04,527
Yes, one green shot.
These are purple.
191
00:09:04,727 --> 00:09:07,391
This must be Jell-O, because
jam don't shake like that!
192
00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:08,615
Let's go, boys! Hey...
193
00:09:14,851 --> 00:09:16,965
Marty, I didn't think this
night could get any better.
194
00:09:17,164 --> 00:09:20,778
But there's a
Snorlax in this room.
195
00:09:22,116 --> 00:09:25,491
Okay, okay, use your lucky
Pok Ball to catch them,
196
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,747
but don't let my brother
see what you're doing.
197
00:09:28,576 --> 00:09:29,614
Hey, what's up? Whoa! Uh...
198
00:09:29,794 --> 00:09:31,621
Looking at sports!
199
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,087
Sports. Sports.
200
00:09:34,287 --> 00:09:36,503
Okay. Yeah.
201
00:09:38,101 --> 00:09:40,457
Ah, what a night.
202
00:09:40,657 --> 00:09:42,514
Out on the town with my boys,
203
00:09:42,714 --> 00:09:45,978
enjoying steaks,
whiskey and cigars.
204
00:09:46,178 --> 00:09:49,113
Manly men manning it up.
205
00:09:52,079 --> 00:09:54,824
Daddy! Help me,
it's in my lungs!
206
00:09:55,723 --> 00:09:57,091
Boy, it's not even lit.
207
00:09:58,359 --> 00:10:00,106
But it's about to be!
208
00:10:06,017 --> 00:10:08,483
Marty, your friend is so cool.
209
00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:13,435
Gentlemen, who here has done
a bourbon tasting before?
210
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:17,169
Oh, uh, Montez and
I are familiar.
211
00:10:17,369 --> 00:10:20,144
M-Montez, where are
you at? Hey, Montez.
212
00:10:21,742 --> 00:10:24,028
Dave, Dave, would
you calm down, man?
213
00:10:24,228 --> 00:10:26,095
Hmm. Uh-oh.
214
00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:27,942
Dad's mad.
215
00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:32,884
Now, the reason we use snifters
is: it concentrates the nose.
216
00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:35,090
And if you give it
a little swirl...
217
00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:36,668
Mmm!
218
00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:42,698
My tummy is a-toasty.
219
00:10:43,996 --> 00:10:46,059
Maybe I should just go ahead
and take your dinner orders.
220
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:47,581
Yeah, yeah. Ooh, I got you.
221
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:51,544
Simone, tomahawk steaks
all around. Rare.
222
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:53,741
Still mooin'. Derek,
can I get a moo?
223
00:10:53,941 --> 00:10:54,939
Moo!
224
00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:56,247
Yeah, Derek!
225
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,723
Uh, no, no, no. No mooing.
226
00:10:59,452 --> 00:11:00,810
Simone, I don't
want my steak rare.
227
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:01,908
I want it well-done.
228
00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:04,174
All right? No mooing at all.
229
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:05,732
Dead.
230
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:09,117
Only thing red I want to
see on my plate is ketchup.
231
00:11:10,684 --> 00:11:14,069
Dudes, what are we doing?
232
00:11:14,268 --> 00:11:16,546
Marty is about to get married,
and we're just sitting here
233
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:18,811
like a bunch of babies
at a baby shower.
234
00:11:20,249 --> 00:11:21,357
What?
235
00:11:27,408 --> 00:11:29,255
What is going on?
236
00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:30,922
Trey, is there a
club in the back?
237
00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:32,490
Oh, my God.
238
00:11:32,689 --> 00:11:34,466
I'm just as shocked as you are.
239
00:11:36,773 --> 00:11:40,048
The bachelor party
gods have spoken.
240
00:11:40,247 --> 00:11:41,815
And they have said,
241
00:11:42,014 --> 00:11:43,402
"Let it be lit."
242
00:11:44,261 --> 00:11:45,958
No, no, Dave, Dave...
Dave, Dave, Dave...
243
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,875
And so it was!
244
00:11:49,473 --> 00:11:50,471
Trey, don't. No, no.
245
00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:51,779
Okay. Listen, guys,
246
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,183
I got to go in
there and get them.
247
00:11:53,207 --> 00:11:54,750
I promised Gemma that
I wouldn't let Dave
248
00:11:54,774 --> 00:11:57,590
go off the deep end.
I got to go get him.
249
00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:03,940
Yo, it's been a minute
since Dad was in a club.
250
00:12:04,139 --> 00:12:06,605
Well, don't worry about
Pops. He can handle himself.
251
00:12:08,403 --> 00:12:09,930
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
252
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,576
He's on his own.
The Douche is loose.
253
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,227
So, Bree seems nice.
254
00:12:18,427 --> 00:12:19,954
Who?
255
00:12:20,164 --> 00:12:21,821
Necie's friend.
256
00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:23,988
Oh, yeah, yeah. Great, great.
257
00:12:24,188 --> 00:12:27,792
Oh, you know, I bet if
we went to New York,
258
00:12:27,992 --> 00:12:30,058
she could get us house
seats to In the Heights.
259
00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:32,484
Oh, that'd be so fun, right?
260
00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:35,020
I haven't been to New
York since high school.
261
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:36,288
Mmm.
262
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,415
Not to brag, but
I was in Model UN.
263
00:12:38,615 --> 00:12:41,630
I represented the
country of Cameroon.
264
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,692
Tina?
265
00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:50,097
Oh, crap.
266
00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:53,711
Isn't this great, Bree?
267
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:56,436
I can't remember the last
time I had a massage.
268
00:12:56,636 --> 00:12:59,152
Oh, yeah.
269
00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:03,905
You know, you should
treat yourself more often.
270
00:13:04,104 --> 00:13:05,362
Miss Tina?
271
00:13:05,562 --> 00:13:09,802
I'm so glad we're
going to have a chance to chat.
272
00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:23,115
You know what? I'd like
to propose a toast.
273
00:13:28,209 --> 00:13:31,717
Dudes, you have got
to come in there.
274
00:13:32,935 --> 00:13:35,077
Dave, where'd you get the tiara?
275
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,376
Hmm? Oh, it's a crown.
276
00:13:37,573 --> 00:13:39,813
I'm royalty in there.
277
00:13:41,356 --> 00:13:42,525
Derek, come on.
278
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,313
Okay, but don't lose me.
279
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:47,218
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, guys, guys, guys, come on.
280
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:48,686
Come on. Look, sit down. Okay?
281
00:13:48,882 --> 00:13:52,557
Wait, look. My pops is trying
to give a speech. Come on, Dave.
282
00:13:52,754 --> 00:13:54,424
You're right. Sorry.
283
00:13:54,621 --> 00:13:55,937
Uh, Derek, sit down.
284
00:13:56,134 --> 00:13:59,573
Show a little respect.
Calvin, the floor is yours.
285
00:13:59,769 --> 00:14:01,469
Thank you, Dave.
286
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:05,901
Uh, I'd like to propose
a toast to my son Marty.
287
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:07,345
Hey.
288
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:09,625
I mean, it seems like only
yesterday I was holding you
289
00:14:09,703 --> 00:14:11,541
in my arms for the
very first time.
290
00:14:11,737 --> 00:14:14,194
Next thing you know,
you were a little kid
291
00:14:14,390 --> 00:14:15,933
on my shoulders at the zoo,
292
00:14:16,129 --> 00:14:19,372
just going on and on
with your penguin facts
293
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,270
while your snow cone
dripped on my head.
294
00:14:23,685 --> 00:14:25,670
But I just let it
drip because I never
295
00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:28,402
wanted you to stop
telling me things.
296
00:14:29,492 --> 00:14:32,617
The amount of joy that you
and Malcolm have given me,
297
00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,385
it's just been amazing.
298
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,402
The Christmas mornings,
the school projects,
299
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:39,357
even the broken arms.
300
00:14:42,108 --> 00:14:44,899
I wouldn't change one
minute of it for anything.
301
00:14:45,882 --> 00:14:47,434
Now you're getting married.
302
00:14:49,242 --> 00:14:51,472
That means I got to let you go.
303
00:14:51,669 --> 00:14:53,762
So...
304
00:14:53,958 --> 00:14:55,501
To my baby boy Marty.
305
00:14:55,698 --> 00:14:57,407
I love you, son.
I love you, man.
306
00:14:57,604 --> 00:14:59,942
Ah...
307
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,155
I want babies!
308
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:10,190
I want snow cone juice
to drip on my head.
309
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,410
I want babies so bad.
310
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,009
Mmm.
311
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,541
What's that scent?
312
00:15:19,741 --> 00:15:21,684
Huh, I think it's lavender.
313
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:24,979
Ooh, I think you're right.
314
00:15:26,141 --> 00:15:29,566
While we're on the subject...
315
00:15:29,766 --> 00:15:31,419
Why do you hate kids?
316
00:15:32,491 --> 00:15:34,283
What? I love kids.
317
00:15:34,484 --> 00:15:36,457
I'm godmother to
both of Bree's kids.
318
00:15:36,657 --> 00:15:38,490
Who the hell is Bree?
319
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:41,604
The woman you kicked
off the massage table.
320
00:15:41,805 --> 00:15:43,067
Oh.
321
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:46,161
Yeah, yeah, yeah, th-the
one from Hamilton.
322
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:52,160
I mean, what is it? Is
it about your career?
323
00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:53,693
Traveling?
324
00:15:53,893 --> 00:15:56,557
Do you have a bad
relationship with your mother?
325
00:15:58,260 --> 00:15:59,281
I love my mother.
326
00:15:59,482 --> 00:16:02,907
I think we'll take a five.
327
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,734
Is it your body? Because...
328
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,717
I can carry the baby.
329
00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:14,094
My doctor says I have the
uterus of a 24-year-old.
330
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,193
Miss Tina...
331
00:16:20,393 --> 00:16:23,338
there are so many things
I want to do with my life.
332
00:16:23,538 --> 00:16:27,164
Being a mother just doesn't
happen to be one of them.
333
00:16:29,307 --> 00:16:32,191
I just don't get it.
334
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:35,466
How could you not
want to be a mother?
335
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,641
It's just who I am.
336
00:16:38,841 --> 00:16:41,596
How could you not
want to be a boxer?
337
00:16:42,607 --> 00:16:44,420
Come on now, that's
totally different.
338
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,014
Mm, they both hurt.
339
00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:51,210
Tell me about it.
340
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,584
But children, they-they bring
341
00:16:53,784 --> 00:16:56,158
so much laughter and-and joy.
342
00:16:56,358 --> 00:16:59,563
Marty brings me so
much laughter and joy.
343
00:16:59,763 --> 00:17:02,107
Yeah, okay, but Marty is...
344
00:17:02,307 --> 00:17:03,469
We love each other,
345
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:06,944
and we're happy with
the choice we've made,
346
00:17:07,144 --> 00:17:09,838
even if it's not the
choice you would've made.
347
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:14,315
You're right.
348
00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:18,442
I've been putting
my dreams on you,
349
00:17:18,642 --> 00:17:20,264
and that's not fair.
350
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,559
I guess I was just
a little surprised
351
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,693
when Marty told us.
352
00:17:25,893 --> 00:17:28,567
He always talked
about being a dad.
353
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:29,769
Really?
354
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:32,082
Look around. Look
at all these toys.
355
00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:34,716
I've been trying to throw
these toys out for years,
356
00:17:34,917 --> 00:17:36,389
but Marty would never let me.
357
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,213
He says, "Mom,
they're classics."
358
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:44,721
He wanted to save
them for his kids.
359
00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:50,040
I guess, um, this news
caught me a little off guard.
360
00:17:51,642 --> 00:17:53,665
Marty never told me that.
361
00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:56,860
You know, I owe you an apology.
362
00:17:58,162 --> 00:18:00,145
I don't know if you
noticed, but, uh,
363
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,508
I've been a little
crazy this evening.
364
00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:07,396
Will you forgive me?
365
00:18:10,541 --> 00:18:12,283
No, Tina, stop. What?
366
00:18:12,484 --> 00:18:16,039
Oh, you're hugging.
Phew. As you were.
367
00:18:22,639 --> 00:18:24,772
Hey, uh, Marty.
368
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:26,585
The things I said in my toast...
369
00:18:26,785 --> 00:18:28,047
Listen, I wasn't trying to...
370
00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:30,321
No, it's-it's okay, Dad.
371
00:18:30,521 --> 00:18:31,663
Okay.
372
00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:33,311
That was my favorite thing
you've ever said to me.
373
00:18:33,335 --> 00:18:35,288
Even though it was
Malcolm at the zoo.
374
00:18:36,590 --> 00:18:38,643
Really? Yup.
375
00:18:38,844 --> 00:18:40,086
Marty hated penguins.
376
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,319
Scared the
hell out of me.
377
00:18:42,519 --> 00:18:43,591
They still do.
378
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:45,333
But...
379
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:48,268
you're still the best
dad a guy could ask for.
380
00:18:48,468 --> 00:18:49,870
And hearing how
much being a father
381
00:18:50,071 --> 00:18:53,015
meant to you, I want that.
382
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,818
Are you sure?
383
00:18:55,018 --> 00:18:56,490
Because I feel like
384
00:18:56,691 --> 00:18:58,624
I should've just kept
my big mouth closed.
385
00:18:58,824 --> 00:19:01,097
No, I'm sure.
386
00:19:01,298 --> 00:19:03,070
You know, I told myself
I didn't want kids,
387
00:19:03,271 --> 00:19:06,215
but I was lying to myself
388
00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:07,968
and to Necie.
389
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,864
So... who cried at Six Flags?
390
00:19:12,064 --> 00:19:13,336
That was you, right?
391
00:19:13,536 --> 00:19:15,710
Yup, yup, that was me. Yeah.
392
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:17,352
Yeah, that was
definitely Marty. Okay.
393
00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:19,305
Remember he was scared
on the roller coaster?
394
00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:21,649
No, you pretended the
safety bar wouldn't latch.
395
00:19:23,391 --> 00:19:25,074
And he cried, he was
crying. He was crying.
396
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:27,167
"Daddy, get me out of here."
397
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,611
Oh, the guys are here.
398
00:19:29,811 --> 00:19:32,816
Derek, me, you, Frisbee golf,
399
00:19:33,016 --> 00:19:34,849
next weekend. Montez,
400
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,142
blow up my DMs, please.
401
00:19:41,018 --> 00:19:43,141
I see you met The Douche.
402
00:19:43,342 --> 00:19:44,113
Yup.
403
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,366
Not a fan. Uh-uh.
404
00:19:47,738 --> 00:19:50,062
Ooh. Okay, babe,
405
00:19:50,262 --> 00:19:51,504
you are not gonna believe this,
406
00:19:51,594 --> 00:19:53,397
but Necie and I
just talked, and...
407
00:19:53,597 --> 00:19:56,612
I'm actually okay with
them not wanting babies.
408
00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:58,415
Well, I got news for you.
409
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,988
Marty actually does want babies.
410
00:20:01,189 --> 00:20:02,791
He does?
411
00:20:02,991 --> 00:20:04,664
Hmm.
412
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:08,570
Uh-oh.
413
00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:10,242
Necie, hey.
414
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,474
Hey.
415
00:20:11,675 --> 00:20:12,786
You guys have fun?
416
00:20:12,987 --> 00:20:15,090
Yeah, yeah. You?
417
00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,463
Yeah, yeah.
418
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:20,598
Look, I think we should talk.
419
00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:23,723
Yeah, I was just about
to say the same thing.
420
00:20:24,594 --> 00:20:26,016
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dudes.
421
00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:28,420
Oh, God, here he comes. Go
in the house. Go, go, go, go.
422
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:31,465
Dudes, dudes.
Where are we going?
423
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,574
I thought we were gonna go
out and slam some waffles.
424
00:20:33,598 --> 00:20:35,511
Dave, come on, let's go home.
425
00:20:35,711 --> 00:20:38,425
Let's go home, buddy. Come on.
426
00:20:39,597 --> 00:20:41,991
Hey, Derek, check this out.
This is who I'm married to.
427
00:20:42,191 --> 00:20:44,745
Smokeshow. Okay.
428
00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:58,095
Captioning sponsored by CBS
429
00:20:58,295 --> 00:21:00,699
and TOYOTA.
430
00:21:00,899 --> 00:21:04,295
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org